Gavin: Oh, Matt’s just up there! Gavin: Came out of nowhere…
Ryan: Whoops! Matt: Ohhhh, I’m not gonna like it though, ’cause I see what’s happening! Matt: Nooo, I have no items, I have nothing! Ow. Gavin: Where am I going?!
Matt: No, not another one! Matt: Fuck! Ryan: Yeah, that’s all I got
Lindsay: Aww, blue shell! Matt: *siiiiighs* Gavin: Oh, what was that?? Gavin: Wazzat?
Matt: That was another one… Matt: That’s okay Michael: Blue shells up the asshole, look at how far Matt won Gavin: How does he do it? Michael: He’s– he– he must– he sucks off the devil! Michael: That’s the only explanation
Matt: *laughing* I suck off the devil! Michael: Every night Michael: He, like, der– draws a pentagram in his apartment
Jeremy: Sucks off… the devil… Michael: Summons him, and then just sucks him off
Lindsay: He’s the devil’s lover! Michael: And he’s like, Satan-Michael: “You’ll never lose, Matt!” Jeremy: I– Michael: I swear to God
Matt: ~Thanks Satan!~
Jeremy: I didn’t use Jeremy: a single weapon that entire time Gavin: Matt somehow gets so far ahead that we all just– Gavin: kill each other!
Michael: That’s what it is! That’s why Michael: he always wins!
Alfredo: Yep, that’s what happens Michael: When you get so far ahead in first Michael: Like, fifth, fourth, third, and second just fuck each other to death Michael: And the lead just
Lindsay: That is… Michael: gets bigger and bigger and–
Matt: You gotta– you gotta Michael: The– Matt– Matt
Matt: escape the mob Michael: Matt is immune to blue shells
Matt: and then, that’s that Trevor: I get–
Jeremy: I see Matt Matt: No, I got hit with two that time Michael: Yeah, and look how much you won by! Gavin: Small inconvenience Michael: It was like, Matt-Michael: “Oh, blue shell! I’ll buff that out” Gavin: Playing with Matt… is like tryin’ to eat a……
Jeremy: That’s been every race Gavin: salad with H.I.V. dressing [Great job Gavin, now you’ve given Shaun nightmares again] Ryan: A weird direction to go in Michael: No, it’s– it’s– you gotta really
Alfredo: What?! Michael: get in there, but I understand what he’s saying Michael: It’s pretty…
Trevor: You made him cough! Alfredo: I didn’t even know they made it into dressing
Matt: I was– that was funny Matt: I’m just confused, where do you get that? Michael: From you!
Gavin: Uhh Gavin: i was just trying to compare what this feel– *laughing* Michael: Matt fucking– Matt excretes it!
Matt: What’s your– what’s your favorite Michael: He goes, “pppppbbbbtttt”
Matt: H.I.V. dressing? Michael: He’s like, “Hey, er– hey– ppbbtt!” Michael: “That’s for you” Matt: Do you have a– do you have a favorite brand of it? *laughing* Ryan: It’s called Hidden Valley HIV Matt & Gavin: *laughing* Gavin: Hellmann’s HIV Lindsay: See, I was going for HIV-en Valley, but… Lindsay: I guess… Trevor: Ow! You bastard horse!
Alfredo: Ohhh myyy God Trevor: Ohh! You fucked me hard, are you serious??!! Trevor: OOHHhhhhh kill me!
Matt: [Imitating Trevor] “Oh, you fucked me
Gavin: My red shell– Matt: “haahhd!!” Lindsay: *frustration* Ahh, Michael! Gavin: My red shell went straight into– Trevor: Oh, Jeremy, how are you back here? I got so Trevor: Fucked!
Jeremy: Uh, ‘cuz I’m awful Jeremy: at this game
Matt: Meanwhile, Gavin Matt: There’s an alien that’s like, “Oh shit!” Michael: Oh God, no! Trevor: I hate… Trevor: I hate. Lindsay: Mondays? Trevor: AHH! Trevor: *GASP* Ohhh, Jeremy, you duUUUU— Michael: You fucking cunt!
Jeremy: What’d I– I didn’t do anything! Trevor: Oh, what was it, Jeremy? Ryan: Oh! 🙁
Jeremy: I didn’t
Michael: Lindsay you Jeremy: do anything!
Michael: bitch! Trevor: Oh, Jeremy, what was it?!
Lindsay: Oh, I know Jeremy: I got three boosts! *chuckling*